Was most taken by Jock Cameron’s talk two weekends back that identified some of the many ways men look for validation, for legitimacy and value. It might be in the classic ways such as having money, power, influence, sexual attraction, being funny, creative, well connected and conspicuous. But it might also be that we are looking for our strength and validity from more subtle but no less distracting avenues such as financial security, being respected, indispensable, faithful and loyal, fit, healthy, a renaissance man, a good husband. In looking for people to see us excel and affirm our worth we place ourselves on shaky and ultimately tenuous ground.
Jock contrasted this to the story of Jesus where he, at the beginning of his ministry, heard a voice from heaven saying, “This is my son in whom I love and am well pleased”. And so it is said that Jesus did not start his work in search for validation but instead started his work from a place of validation.
This leads to the obvious question, if rather than looking for validation I started from validation how different would my life look? How would I use my time and energy if I already new my place and my value? How different would my productivity look?
Over the years I have already identified that I can not love, truly love, when I am showing ‘love’ to a person from whom I am seeking approval or validation. Love from this place gets really mucked up.
These next few months I want to explore further what it means to know God’s love, understand my sonship, how He sees me, how I ought to see myself, what my life would look like if I operated from a place of validation and desire. Although this is probably an ongoing journey, I am really excited to see the unfolding of this over the coming months. It’s already happening.
Coffee today with two friends Michael and Paul got me thinking how incredibly fortunate I am to have people in my life who I can have deliberate and life-giving conversations with in a spirit of mutual care and respect. I am grateful for my friendships and my life in Sydney.